Day...uh, yeah, about that...

Hello! I missed this blog. It's so nice to be back!

I did get a little off-track with the daily program (approximately 68 days ago), but I've learned a lot in the meantime and can't wait to share it with you!

Quick habits update: So it seems that this daily habit tracking really works! My first habit was to put my clothes away each night. I've wavered a bit and gotten more lax about it, but it actually became a fairly ingrained habit. And, more than that, it no longer carries with it the dread, anger and overwhelm that it used to.

Now it's just clothing on a chair, not my shame and not-good-enoughness taunting me about my inability to do anything right, take care of myself or be a grown-up. That is definitely an improvement worth a 45-day investment.

I do not want to ever be preachy about this, so I'm just going to offer up the thought that this exercise might be worth a try if you've got some clutter or overwhelm that's not serving you so well right now. Here's the practice, based on what I did:

1. Choose ONE area of clutter or overwhelm in your space (clothes piled up, pens scattered around your desk, keys never where you want them to be) (and I DON'T recommend starting with paper--that's a whole other story--unless you just want to start with keeping your mail in one place until you're ready to deal with it)

2. Choose ONE habit that leads to the pileup (not putting clothes away at the end of the day, not having a pen cup or not using it when you're done with a pen, not having a single, convenient place for you mail or keys and not regularly using it)

3. Become aware of the habit or behavior you have in place WITHOUT JUDGING YOURSELF FOR IT. This is KEY!!! You are not a bad person, you are not irresponsible, lazy or hopeless. Say this out loud: "It is what it is." You may want to give yourself permission not to judge yourself just for these few minutes; for those of us who are used to berating ourselves all the time, whether or not we're aware of it, it can be extremely difficult to have awareness without judgment. But you can do it, even if just for a few moments.

4. Choose a NEW, small, specific habit that will alter the results you've been getting in that one area of clutter (decide to put your clothes away at the end of the day; buy a pen cup and choose to put your pens back every time you're done with them; put a hook or bowl near the door for your keys and use it every time you walk in the door; put a basket near the door for your mail and drop the mail in as soon as you bring it in)

5. Make the commitment to practice your new habit EVERY DAY, for 45 days. Make the commitment outside of your head: Write it down, tell it to somebody supportive, post it HERE in a comment--I'll hold the energy for you.

6. Keep yourself accountable. Print out a calendar and check each day off as you complete your habit. Email a (non-judgmental) friend every day to let her know how you're doing. Post it here--I'll be happy for the company!

7. Give yourself an outlet to feel what you feel and to support yourself through this process. That's what this blog became for me. Each day I wrote down what I was doing and it kept me honest--and it also gave me space to say out loud all those thoughts that were shouting in my head. And then it gave me space to let the other voices talk. Do you remember the Nurturing Parent and the Adult Voice? Those are going to be really important for you throughout this process, so find some way to let them speak. You can talk out loud, you can write in a journal, you can share with a friend/therapist/coach.

This is the place where your core is really going to shift, and it will reverberate throughout the rest of your life. I understand so much better now that this is a process. It takes time. And at the same time, you start getting results FAST and visibly, because you're clearing your clutter. It's pretty cool, actually.

OK, so those are my tips--let me know how you're doing, won't you? And I'm tackling my paper during these 45 days. So far, so good...I'll keep you up to date!