Hello! I know this blog has been about me this whole time, but a client actually emailed me a question & I thought the answer I gave her might be helpful to other people out there in the world, so I decided to post it.
*Keep in mind that we've already been working together, and although it's just been three weeks, she's already made a HUGE shift in managing her time, energy and resources at work with one incredibly simple step. I had her isolate a set time every day to handle a particular aspect of her job that was bleeding into every hour and task and preventing her from really getting anything done. She now handles client work from 11:00 AM - 1:00 PM, and all related emails and phone calls that arrive after 1 PM simply wait until the next day.
This approach had a profound and immediate impact on her time, energy and productivity--as well as the way she felt about herself and what she could accomplish. You can totally try this, and I bet it can work for you too! Anyway, I wanted to share this so you understand how experiencing this success made it so much more possible for her to take the next step towards reclaiming her time and living the life she wants to live. Here's her question & my answer:
"When I am reading I like to rip out the magazine pages of either recipes to consider making or websites that the magazine mentions that I want to look up. How would you suggest I handle these pages?
"And I would love to ideally give myself 20 minutes twice a month to go through the pages and either use the recipes and look up the websites or discard the paper. For now I just have pages and pages of meaningless cutouts with little plan for dealing with/enjoying them. What do you suggest?"
Excellent question! OK:
1) Where are you when you go through the magazines & pull out the pages? If it's always at home in one place, then we'll create a storage system for you there; if it's all over the place--on the subway, at work, at home...--you'll want one end-point storage solution plus temporary spots for the in-between (like a place in your purse or at work until you get it home).
2) A storage solution should be really simple--a folder or file or poly envelope for recipes & one for websites, or even a 2-pocket folder with one side for recipes & one for websites. It's great if it's pretty/funky/colorful & easy to spot. You should keep it in one convenient location--desk, night table, kitchen...--and consistently put things in there. We can talk more about troubleshooting if it doesn't quite work when you first set it up.
3) Love the 20 minutes twice a month. I'm tempted to have that be the thing you try this month by putting it in your calendar at specific times & treating it the way you do your customer service time. If that feels right to you, please email me & let me know WHEN & WHERE you plan to do it (take the folder to Starbucks, do it at home at night or on a weekend...). Be specific. You KNOW you can do this because you've done it at work already!
Hope you find this helpful too! Feel free to let me know if you've got any questions about your own organizing spillover. I'm happy to answer whatever I can!
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Monday, February 8, 2010
Wisdom Comes
I've been learning to observe my thoughts and distinguish the voices in my head for about a year now, and I can see it's sinking in. One of the clearest things I've become aware of is the fact that I think I'm right.
I never really understood what people meant by that--I clearly knew that I wasn't always correct, that I sometimes didn't understand things and got things wrong. But I finally understood it a few weeks ago--it's that I actually think that my way is the RIGHT way to do things. And I don't think I'm being obnoxious or condescending when I want people to do it my way; I actually think I'm RIGHT! As if there's a right way to fold shirts, set the table, change a diaper, dress a child, cook eggs, do laundry, live your life.
And my rational mind is screaming as I write these things, because it's completely logical to me that there IS a right way to do all of those things! Your shirt will get less wrinkled if you fold it a particular way; the napkin and fork are supposed to go on the left; a diaper should be not-too-tight and not-too-loose; a child's clothing should be clean and matching and not pajamas at 4 o'clock in the afternoon...you get the picture. This part of my brain fights pretty hard, and I can't reason my way out of it.
The only think I can do is recognize that I feel this way, and remind myself gently that it doesn't matter. There is no perfect. Good enough is good enough. There is so much life to live and I've missed a lot of it getting upset at the things that aren't being done the way they "should."
And now that I see more clearly, I understand the damage I've done. I know the criticism is turned most harshly on myself, but I see its effect mirrored in my husband. I realize now that he consistently expects to be told he's done something wrong. Tonight I asked him if a gift had come with a thank you note attached, and he got SO defensive. I was simply asking, but he felt like I was accusing him of throwing out the note, opening something he shouldn't have, doing something he wasn't supposed to do.
I took a deep breath. I observed what my years of being this way had created, and didn't judge myself for it. I accepted responsibility for my actions. I explained that I'm consciously working on changing these patters, and I asked for his partnership as I shift my way of being. He appreciated it. I felt like a grown-up.
Wisdom comes, one piece at a time. I see new patterns and behaviors that aren't serving me so well and I wish that simply understanding them were enough, but it isn't. It takes awareness and work and patience and consistency to change things that aren't working. And I think you have to still believe you're just fine as you are, even while you're choosing to do things differently. It's kind of a weird combination of acceptance and change. But I'd rather be conscious than not, and I'm SO grateful for every opportunity I have to learn, and to create the reality I want.
I never really understood what people meant by that--I clearly knew that I wasn't always correct, that I sometimes didn't understand things and got things wrong. But I finally understood it a few weeks ago--it's that I actually think that my way is the RIGHT way to do things. And I don't think I'm being obnoxious or condescending when I want people to do it my way; I actually think I'm RIGHT! As if there's a right way to fold shirts, set the table, change a diaper, dress a child, cook eggs, do laundry, live your life.
And my rational mind is screaming as I write these things, because it's completely logical to me that there IS a right way to do all of those things! Your shirt will get less wrinkled if you fold it a particular way; the napkin and fork are supposed to go on the left; a diaper should be not-too-tight and not-too-loose; a child's clothing should be clean and matching and not pajamas at 4 o'clock in the afternoon...you get the picture. This part of my brain fights pretty hard, and I can't reason my way out of it.
The only think I can do is recognize that I feel this way, and remind myself gently that it doesn't matter. There is no perfect. Good enough is good enough. There is so much life to live and I've missed a lot of it getting upset at the things that aren't being done the way they "should."
And now that I see more clearly, I understand the damage I've done. I know the criticism is turned most harshly on myself, but I see its effect mirrored in my husband. I realize now that he consistently expects to be told he's done something wrong. Tonight I asked him if a gift had come with a thank you note attached, and he got SO defensive. I was simply asking, but he felt like I was accusing him of throwing out the note, opening something he shouldn't have, doing something he wasn't supposed to do.
I took a deep breath. I observed what my years of being this way had created, and didn't judge myself for it. I accepted responsibility for my actions. I explained that I'm consciously working on changing these patters, and I asked for his partnership as I shift my way of being. He appreciated it. I felt like a grown-up.
Wisdom comes, one piece at a time. I see new patterns and behaviors that aren't serving me so well and I wish that simply understanding them were enough, but it isn't. It takes awareness and work and patience and consistency to change things that aren't working. And I think you have to still believe you're just fine as you are, even while you're choosing to do things differently. It's kind of a weird combination of acceptance and change. But I'd rather be conscious than not, and I'm SO grateful for every opportunity I have to learn, and to create the reality I want.
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