OK, I used the fact that my internet was down for three days last week as an excuse to not post all of the reasons why I did not let go of three cookbooks.
This week I decided I'd better look a little more closely at why I was resisting giving away the cookbooks. Here it is: They each represent the fantasy future in which I always cook amazing, delicious, healthy meals. And there's more: I'm actually making that future a reality little by little, so every time I pick up a cookbook to toss, I start thinking that I actually MIGHT make these dishes!
So here's what I did. I tossed all my cooking magazines (OK, there were only four, but still, I'd had one of them since 2003), and decided to count that as one book. One down, two to go.
I next decided that I would start cooking one new recipe a week. If I get annoyed by a cookbook because it doesn't actually have anything I want to or can easily cook, it can go. It feels reasonable, and I'm moving forward.
We'll see how it goes, and if I master any mouth-watering dishes I'll let you know...
Friday, August 27, 2010
Monday, August 16, 2010
You Can't Eat Your Cookbooks
I have a lot of cookbooks. And this is after my stalwart friend Natalie "helped" (= made) me get rid of half of them several years ago.
And I don't really cook with them. I peruse them once in a while, imagining that by reading healthy recipes my body will magically become sated and energized. I also sometimes get whipped into a frenzy of determined-cooking action, but when I can't find a recipe that uses readily available ingredients (or that actually sounds good and/or makeable), I put the cookbooks back on the shelf and make eggs.
So why am I SO resistant to letting go of my cookbooks?
The reasons that come to mind include:
-I THINK I will have time/energy/desire to cook elaborate, healthy meals someday and it would be a waste to not have cookbooks when that day comes
-I think I SHOULD be cooking not-so-elaborate, but still healthy, meals now, and having cookbooks SHOULD make that easier
-I wish someone ELSE were cooking me elaborate, healthy meals, and looking at cookbooks is the next best thing
-Many of them were gifts, and of course I feel bad giving them away, plus I imagine that whoever gave them to me uses her cookbooks easily and joyfully to--you guessed it--cook elaborate, healthy meals
-I spent money on them and haven't earned my investment back yet
So I see a lot of "shoulds," assumptions, projections, blame and guilt going on here. If I were to give myself permission to be exactly who I am and be fine with that, what would I allow myself to do? Let's see...
I would say that I'm busy. That I do love the idea of eating good, healthy food, and I do the best I can right now. I have a couple of recipes I like, and there are plenty of cookbooks I open up time and time again and never find anything that strikes my fancy. I could likely explore the few cookbooks I've already used happily and find more recipes, while releasing the others to people who will love them. I usually download new ones from the internet anyway, or ask friends for ones I've actually tasted and liked.
And underneath that: It's perfect to be exactly who I am. I am fine. I will always have everything I need. I can jump into the Universal Law of circulation, pass along some cookbooks that will make someone else happy, open up space for something else in my life, and trust that if I want the exact same cookbooks again in the future they will come to me.
I'm also fine in that I've kept myself and my family fed for several years now and we're doing pretty well. I could not ever read a recipe again and still cook perfectly passable, and even creative, meals for a good long time.
Today someone said something beautiful that really resonated with me: "Choose simplicity." Imagine how much energy I'll save by NOT looking through cookbooks I don't use, by NOT feeling guilty every time I don't use them, and by NOT beating myself up for holding on to them.
Tonight I'm going to choose three cookbooks and put them out in my lobby with a sign for people to help themselves. And it will be a stretch for me, and I will be a little afraid, and I will hopefully prove to myself that I'm absolutely OK without these cookbooks. My world will not fall apart. I probably won't think about them again. And who knows what else the empty space may usher in...or what inspired meals may arise from my belief that it will all be OK with a little ingenuity and some eggs!
And I don't really cook with them. I peruse them once in a while, imagining that by reading healthy recipes my body will magically become sated and energized. I also sometimes get whipped into a frenzy of determined-cooking action, but when I can't find a recipe that uses readily available ingredients (or that actually sounds good and/or makeable), I put the cookbooks back on the shelf and make eggs.
So why am I SO resistant to letting go of my cookbooks?
The reasons that come to mind include:
-I THINK I will have time/energy/desire to cook elaborate, healthy meals someday and it would be a waste to not have cookbooks when that day comes
-I think I SHOULD be cooking not-so-elaborate, but still healthy, meals now, and having cookbooks SHOULD make that easier
-I wish someone ELSE were cooking me elaborate, healthy meals, and looking at cookbooks is the next best thing
-Many of them were gifts, and of course I feel bad giving them away, plus I imagine that whoever gave them to me uses her cookbooks easily and joyfully to--you guessed it--cook elaborate, healthy meals
-I spent money on them and haven't earned my investment back yet
So I see a lot of "shoulds," assumptions, projections, blame and guilt going on here. If I were to give myself permission to be exactly who I am and be fine with that, what would I allow myself to do? Let's see...
I would say that I'm busy. That I do love the idea of eating good, healthy food, and I do the best I can right now. I have a couple of recipes I like, and there are plenty of cookbooks I open up time and time again and never find anything that strikes my fancy. I could likely explore the few cookbooks I've already used happily and find more recipes, while releasing the others to people who will love them. I usually download new ones from the internet anyway, or ask friends for ones I've actually tasted and liked.
And underneath that: It's perfect to be exactly who I am. I am fine. I will always have everything I need. I can jump into the Universal Law of circulation, pass along some cookbooks that will make someone else happy, open up space for something else in my life, and trust that if I want the exact same cookbooks again in the future they will come to me.
I'm also fine in that I've kept myself and my family fed for several years now and we're doing pretty well. I could not ever read a recipe again and still cook perfectly passable, and even creative, meals for a good long time.
Today someone said something beautiful that really resonated with me: "Choose simplicity." Imagine how much energy I'll save by NOT looking through cookbooks I don't use, by NOT feeling guilty every time I don't use them, and by NOT beating myself up for holding on to them.
Tonight I'm going to choose three cookbooks and put them out in my lobby with a sign for people to help themselves. And it will be a stretch for me, and I will be a little afraid, and I will hopefully prove to myself that I'm absolutely OK without these cookbooks. My world will not fall apart. I probably won't think about them again. And who knows what else the empty space may usher in...or what inspired meals may arise from my belief that it will all be OK with a little ingenuity and some eggs!
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