Day 3

Victory!

All of my clothes got put away before I went to bed. I will tell you that I was so nervous about it that I almost changed into my pajamas at 5:30 just to be sure it would get done.

I also knew it would be easier because our 18-month-old was sleeping over at my mom's place so I didn't have to worry about waking him up when I went in to put away the clothes. (Did I mention that my closet is in his bedroom? Creative closetry seems to come with the territory when you live in Manhattan.)

In truth, I discovered on Monday night (otherwise known as "Day 1") that since he started sleeping well it's not really so hard to quietly go in & put my clothes away. It was one of the excuses I was using, and that's OK--I just calmly (and non-judgmentally) allowed myself to see that it's not a valid excuse so I don't need to let it stand in my way.

That was my "adult voice" speaking. I'm learning from a wonderful coach that we have many "sub-selves," including the saboteur, the victim, and the critical parent (mine are apparently REALLY strong), in addition to the adult and the nurturing parent (which seems to be "just a flicker" at this point). So the good news is that I get to recognize these things and nurture my nurturing parent by validating myself, and talk to the more negative selves with my rational, adult voice and explain to them why what they are saying doesn't really hold water.

So here's my validation for today: I committed to this process and it's already my third day of success. I am proud that I'm taking this seriously, and that I'm owning my ability to choose. Yesterday I chose to be inspired instead of defeated, and my whole world seemed to shift.

Today one of my workshop participants told me that her new mantra is, "Life is a choice, everything you do is a choice." She understands now that it is her choice to leave out or put away her clothes, and that it's neither bad nor good, it just is. And she can see how she feels when she makes one choice or another, and then decide to choose differently if she wants to.

She said this has had such major ramifications--she realized that she could choose to get upset or not get upset, she could choose how she wanted to be. This is HUGE!!! When you're in "victim state," the problem is always somebody or something else's fault--but what that means is that you have no power. If you take responsibility (for the state of your bedroom, for example), you have the power to change it.

So here's to the empowering nature of choice, and to the nurturing parent who tells us all what great jobs we are doing!