Really, it's about TIME. It's hitting me over and over again. Choices and time. And I'm hoping that if I'm willing to put in the time to do things "right" in the beginning, eventually things will get more efficient and run more smoothly and maybe take less time (or maybe stop needing to get done at all).
And if they still take the same amount of time, and if they're still absolutely essential to my functioning as a happy, healthy adult, then I hope I can joyfully make peace with them and create time in my life every day to get them done.
I'm starting tomorrow. (That's not a joke, by the way.) Today Coach Paula had me schedule in an hour once a week for the next four weeks just to clean. I was freaking out a little with the sudden overwhelm, between the six loads of laundry I did right before we left for the weekend that are still waiting to be folded, and my desk that looks like a tornado hit it even though I promise I neatened it up last night, and everything that suddenly needs to get done--I felt like I couldn't think straight in this atmosphere.
I was talking to Paula about being frazzled in all different parts of my life, and when she asked me what I would like to do for my self right now, I didn't hesistate: "Clean up!" And that's where the sacred time came in, that we set aside just for cleaning. I laughed at myself too--I will tell you that in a million years I never thought that cleaning would be something I got excited about.
So I'll let you know how that goes, and in the meantime my daily habits are still up and running. And i'm supposed to be validating myself every day too (which I haven't been, and when Paula asked me if I had I actually lied and said yes!!! And then I immediately retracted and said no, and we both laughed because you could totally tell from my tone of voice that I was lying.). So here's my validation:
Jen, you're so awesome. You set out to keep this blog, and you're keeping it! That's a real commitment, and I'm so proud of you.
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