Days 34 & 35

I think I'm getting annoyed by how long things take.

All this time I've been embracing the concept that things simply take time, and they even often take less time than you think they will, and since there's no way of getting around it, you might as well relax, give yourself enough time to get the job done, and just do it. BUT sometimes these things take a lot longer than you think they will (or, more problematically, than you think they should), and sometimes you really want to be doing other things instead, or everything at once, and it just doesn't work that way but you really want it to.

I can hear my whiny Brat's voice saying these things, and I kind of don't even want to answer--I don't want to present reasoned arguments against this frustration; I want to wallow in it.

If I weren't going to wallow in it, my Adult Voice would probably say something like this: "It just is what it is. You're personalizing something that shouldn't be personalized. You stayed in a gracious friend's home and of course you want to leave it in great condition, and that takes time. It takes time to gather up all your stuff, change the sheets, wash the dishes--but it's all part of the bargain!

"Next time expect it to take an hour instead of fifteen minutes. Give yourself the gift of setting aside enough time to reasonably get the job done. And of consciously choosing how you're going to spend your time, so you pick the most important things, and have enough time to really experience them!"

As we were rushing from a late lunch to an early dinner today, I told my husband that I was worried about being late and about how frustrated our hosts (my dad and his girlfriend) would be. My husband said laughingly, "Leave earlier! Next time leave earlier--I don't understand why you don't, and then you get upset about running late!"

To me the answer seemed perfectly clear--"But I don't want to leave earlier! I want to stay where I am!"

And that's it in a nutshell. I just want it all. I want to stay late in one place and be at the other place on time. I want to get three 45-minute projects done in an hour. I don't want any negative consequences, I want everything to work out perfectly, and I want everyone to be calm and satisfied at all times.

It's crazy. I know.

Well, it's something to think about for the New Year. I told my husband my next habit might have to be to leave everywhere early. I think it's probably a great idea, and I might start trying it out now once in a while just to see what happens.

In the meantime, my travel-mess was relatively contained, and my clothes got put away (somewhat informally) each night. May this year bring us all health and happiness, and peaceful order in beautiful homes.