Day 38

I'm getting messages from every direction to stretch out my vision, expand my thinking to a longer term.

It's what I've been seeing with this work around shifting habits, with changing the way I eat/cleanse, and with developing my business. And today I heard it from my new (and first) financial adviser. After sending her my initial financial information and goals, her first piece of feedback was that we want to expand the way I'm looking at things.

She says my husband and I have been doing a good job taking care of the present, and now it's time to look down the line and start establishing goals and systems to get us there. Of course I had to squash my initial impulse to worry that we wouldn't be able to do it, and I actually didn't manage to squash my impulse to correct her and tell her that I was sure we weren't doing as good a job with the present as she thinks either. Why would I do that?!

Adult Voice/Nurturing Parent: "You're used to seeing the negative. You're used to expecting the worst. You're used to measuring yourself against "perfect" and always coming up short.

"You now have lots of people in your life and lots of systems in place to help you stop, take a breath, evaluate the situation more objectively, and not beat up on yourself. You had a major epiphany today when your financial planner said you were doing fine and have priorities in your life other than becoming a multi-millionaire. It's as if it never occurred to you that it would be OK to have 'enough' and enjoy your life as is. That's a big deal, and it's something to think about, to look at, to let sink in. Imagine not feeling bad, or not feeling like you're not enough--you'd have so much energy for other things! The possibilities are amazing!!"

OK. I'm reminding myself every day that I've given myself this year as a gift, and that part of that gift is to relax and be gentle with myself. I'm still (consciously) putting my clothes away each night, and tidying my desk. This is good for now.